Calm in the 2ww...lol:)

Today is 7dpo for me. I am starting to stress and wonder...looking for any little sign. There is not a one of course, but I'm sure I'll start creating them in a few days. I have a great imagination:) I don't think this month is it for some reason, not sure why. I am trying to say positive...but. This is getting more and more trying, I want it more than anything, but having my heart broken every month is getting old. It will soon be a year of meds with ovulating once. Is it time for a TTC break? OK enough negativity...I go for my CD24 progesterone check on Sat. morning. I'm praying that will put the color back in my rainbow! Even If this isn't the month for me if I O'd on Femara I will hopefully have some new light to stare at in the end of this long tunnel:)

Off Topic

I work at a nursing home so death is inevitable. I have been there 2 years and dealt with my fair share of people going to the greater beyond. The effect it has one me is never good and hopefully it's something I never get used to. That would make me some kind of freak. Two days ago I had to help remove a 410pd. man from his room to go to the funeral home. As you could imagine there were a lot of people in the room, as I held his arm I looked down and saw his watch still ticking on with time, hours after he passed. The irony in this made the room spin around me, somehow I kept my composure and moved on with my day. BUT...it makes me think, Am I obsessing so much about a new baby that I am missing moments with the DD I have?

Holy hot flashes Batman:)

Well although not as bad as I remember Clomid, Femara has it's downfalls also. lol. I didn't get hot flashes with clomid, but I know what they are now. Other than that and lurking half a headache I have had for 3 days it hasn't been to bad. I haven't even burst into tears for no reason or yelled at anyone:) So I guess there is an upside to Femara like the doc said. I am already starting to feel something working down there today, kind of like mild O pains. So hopefully I will be the one laying eggs for Easter:) I really don't want to have to do an IUI next month so I am praying this is it. Tomorrow will be CD 8 and I think I will start using OPK's so I don't miss it. If anything I hope I get to see 2 lines on one of this this month!

April Fools!

So I made to to CD 29 yesterday, I was so excited and nervous. I wanted to test as soon as I woke up but I thought hold out one more day...and then the only April Fools day prank I had pulled on me came along. After my shower last night, there the witch was. I had to laugh, what else is there to do. I had trained myself not to get toooo hopeful, but I was this time because I haven't had a cycle that long in 10 cycles. Life goes on, it's still an exciting month with my fist round of Femara, so I am just charging forward with the most positive attitude I can muster up!